Technology Fail

Nothing irks me more than technology. One promise of technology is that it makes lives easier, but is that really true? We quickly become dependant on technology and then we can't remember what life was like before cell phones, i-pads, laptops, etc. Life existed before the advent of the computer age, and if all computers stopped working tonight - life would still go on, and somehow we would survive.

Now I'm not advocating that we all get rid of technology and embrace our inner-Amish; on the contrary, I love technology and want to thoroughly embrace it. I, however, demand that everything works the way it is supposed to - when I need it to work. This demand, however, seems to be the problem.

For instance, I finally gave up on loading one of the video diaries from the road trip because it was taking at least a day to load the video. When the video was over 75% loaded, the computer would go into hibernation, severe the connection, and I would have to start all over again. Frankly, the thought of sitting at the computer trying to load the video again made me want to projectile vomit. I decided living my life was more important than uploading a video to YouTube. However, I quickly discovered my life is boring and devoid of meaning at the moment. Thanks technology fail.

This post, however, was inspired by Twitter. As you may have noticed, I'm attempting to incorporate Twitter into the blog. Hopefully this will be another way for you all to comment on the posts, and make it easier to share the blog with your friends. I made two Twitter profiles, one for me personally and one for the blog. Yet, Twitter has yet to let me upload my profile photos. I have triple-checked to make sure the photos are within the size parameters and double checked my Internet connection. Everything on my end is in working order, but for two days now - Twitter will not load my fricking pictures! Why can't something work the way it is supposed to? Shouldn't it just load my photos? And if it's not going to work, why can't someone fix the problem quickly? This is America damn it, aren't things supposed to work?

Also, I swear the technology is out to fuck with me.

During the road trip, we would often try to find hotels before we departed, so we would have a location to input into the GPS. Well, Cara and I needed a hotel in St. Louis, and we were in Sullivan, IL. As you may remember, we had stopped there to visit a friend. It isn't that far of a drive - a little more than 2 hours, but we wanted to have a hotel booked before we got on the road. We were using the free wifi at the theatre our friend works at on both my I-pad and my laptop. Patrons were starting to arrive, so we had to go outside on the sidewalk to use the Internet, (maybe 25 feet from where we were originally sitting) but both the I-pad and the computer kept dropping the signal. A signal that tons of people use every day - kept dropping us - as we attempted to find and book a hotel. What made it worse was that our friend was supposed to attend the premier of the play inside, so we were on a deadline and down to the wire.

There I was sitting outside, in the summer sun, on concrete, in a hurry, with two Internet capable devices, and neither of them working properly. Happy people were arriving, excited to see The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, while sweat was dripping from my brow as I hopelessly tried not to swear. I bottled my rage inward, and attempted to focus my efforts on using what little Internet connection I could hang onto. All I wanted to do, however, was shout profanity, punch pregnant woman, and tell old people to shut the Hell up. I was uncomfortable and irritated, happiness was not allowed.

We eventually did book a hotel, and I confided in Cara that I almost lost my shit while I was sitting there. She knew. Apparently I'm not that good at hiding how I feel. (Anyone surprised?) I hope I didn't scare the patrons, but someone needs to let that theatre know that it needs to beef up its Internet connection. Even though it sounds like a question, wifi should be a statement. And that statement should include stability, ease of use, and inner-peace. I think if the world had better Internet connections - everyone would be a lot less cranky - at least I would be.

I swear I'm the only one who has this problem. All I have to do is appear to be busy, and something will cease to work. This could be the plotter in my old office, my personaly printer, a scanner, free wifi, etc. Hell, even camera batteries will die immediately after I put them into my camera. And it's always when I need to use the technology as well. If I didn't need to use the scanner, it would magically scan something on its own, but when it's something I need quickly, it fucks with me.

This has happened since I was a child. My first printer died once while I was attempting to print a research paper. It printed my paper - in hexadecimal notation, and then printed instructions on how to fix the problem... in Spanish. Seeing as how no one in my household spoke Spanish - that was a fun day. Also, trying to explain to your teacher that you typed your paper in English, but your printer decided hexadecimal notation was a better format - is a tough sell. Luckily, after hours of deliberation, we unplugged the printer, plugged it back in, and magically my paper printed in English.

Another peeve of mine is the remote control on my mother's TV. I'd heard of super-sensitive remotes before, but I'd never before seen or heard of a dumb remote before. I can press buttons on it for hours, and it won't change the channel. Finally, I have to drag my lazy ass off of the couch (or sit up and lean ridiculously far off the couch) to get the sensor to read properly. It basically makes the concept of a remote a moot point. Remotes were designed to keep you from exercising while channel surfing, but with this remote I end up getting several crunches out of the deal. Often, I want to take the remote and hurl it into the LCD screen. I've had fantasies of the screen shattering as the remote punched past the glass and into the wall. "That would teach it to not work," I think. "If I broke it more, that would make it work correctly."

I guess it's something I will just need to learn to deal with. Let's face it - technology is fun, but we can't count on it for everything. We can barely count on it when we need it to work. We need to be able to easily access our inner-Amish and come up with a plan B. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me technology wise. I have to believe that Twitter will be fixed, and I won't get my daily workout while channel surfing. Otherwise, I may have to blog about it...

Keys, Offices, and Observations

So about two and a half weeks ago, I gave up the keys to my old office in Mississippi - along with my keys to all the campus facilities and the building my office was in. This is typical when you leave a job - most employers discourage you from keeping keys - liability and whatnot, but I didn't realize how much I would be giving up when I gave up my keys.

It was difficult to hand over my keys - not because I want to keep the job - that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm excited about the change and very happy with my decision to leave. It's just that - even with all the stress and hardships - there were some great moments here. I really came into myself as a teacher, and I really enjoyed teaching my classes. Those are the things I am choosing to remember about my time in Mississippi - at least the things I will keep close to my heart. Giving up the keys represented a finality to that - the closing of a chapter that I wasn't ready to close. I was ready to close all the other chapters, but that one - the one chapter that I felt was worth re-reading, I was not ready to close.

I got over it. I got over it quickly. I went back to SC, met with old friends, and was again excited for the move. To continue the metaphor, I was ready to open the new book - start a new chapter. And just like books, you don't have to forget about the old one when you start a new one. You are allowed to remember the previous book, and reference it at any time. It's just a moving on - not an erasure. So back I drove to Mississippi to begin phase two of the move.

For monetary purposes (i.e. the fact that I'm poor, and can't afford a moving company), I decided to move in three phases. Phase one was the initial: "I need to go," response. I packed my car as tightly as possible, and went. I drove to SC with as much stuff as I could. Phase two is basically the completion of phase one. It's the return to gather the rest of the chochkees, books, and other small items. Phase three is the final phase. It's the phase where I rent a small U-haul and move my bedroom set and chairs. Granted this does take more time than hiring a moving company or renting a large U-haul, but it is much cheaper.

Now I'm back in MS, and again I am lamenting the loss of my keys, and thinking that maybe I should have kept them until the end of at least phase two... See, I'm rather cheap, and since my office and workplace had free wifi everywhere, there was no need for me to purchase Internet for my townhouse. I thought I could always come back to work to pirate the Internet, but when you no longer have keys it's not quite so easy.

Hence why I am sitting in my car at this moment, in a make-shift office, blogging away. I can't get into the building to sit inside, and I don't want to risk getting rained on sitting outside, so this was the best alternative. I not only gave up a primary connection with my students when I gave up my office, but I also gave up my Internet service (not counting the 3G coverage on my Verizon Wireless Blackberry - but for those of you who have ever tried to do all of your computing on a Blackberry, you know, it get's old).

You may be wondering why I didn't just go to a Starbucks... I did! I yearned for the nice ambiance of a commercial coffee corporation, but apparently you have to purchase a card to get access to the FREE wifi. Now, I don't want to shake a rattle, but IF YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PURCHASE, IT'S NOT FREE!

Oh well, I enjoy my car / office, it's actually quite peaceful, and has plenty of natural light. I wonder why we even bother with offices at all really? This car (I'm currently in a Kia Rondo) with it's backseat folded down - provides a great work table (I really would only need an adapter to charge my laptop). I could put a few books against the walls. Joey could sit in the front seat if I wanted to bring him. Best of all, you can take this office anywhere! I could drive this office to any destination (at least any destination on campus if I want to keep the free Internet).

The only real drawback is well - the bathroom situation. This is not a traffic jam on the interstate - I am not peeing in a bottle because I can't hold it any longer... Speaking of, I really can't hold it any longer, (those venti iced skinny hazelnut lattes have a way of going right through me). So I really have two choices: 1) drive the office to a restroom or 2) risk being arrested for public urination. I'm opting for one. Peace!