LAX to DTW to Franklin, TN

As everyone knows, the vampire's only natural enemy is the shark. Vampires are most vulnerable right at sunset, when the light is too dim to harm them, and when the sharks patrolling the waters are almost impossible to see.

The secret to slaying zombies is knowing the ancient Asian martial arts, and as everyone knows the greatest zombie slayer of all time, Dolly Parton, still walks among us. She - above all - is most skilled with a blade. What most don't know is that Dollywood is really zombie hunter's secret lair, and it is the most Zombie secure place in the world. When the virus hits, the lucky ones will be at Dollywood. For those not so lucky, Dolly will brave the night alone to bring them home.

This has nothing to do with the road trip, except that a good friend of mine and I discussed these particular scenarios at dinner after I arrived back in Detroit from LA. It was hard to leave California; I really wanted to stay. The trip with Cara was incredibly fun, and life affirming. I feel that I can go back to Alabama and South Carolina with a renewed vigor that I can put into my art. The trip really made me want to paint and sculpt again - something I rarely had time for in Mississippi. I have made it a goal to paint more for myself once I get home.

I have also made it a goal to get a bike and ride more often. Biking those 12 miles down the beach made me feel so alive, so present, so at peace. In Alabama, my apartment is close to both the library and the art museum. My goal is to bike to both of these places, and to see if I can find a safe bicycle route to work. I worry that while work is within biking distance, the roads may be too dangerous to bike, so I'll be searching for a safe route. A place I am really looking forward to biking to is a trendy district nearby. I can't wait to bike to a coffee house and get my iced hazelnut lattes.

I was surprised when leaving LAX that I wasn't stopped for a random security screening. I seem to be stopped quite a bit for those - maybe I have one of those faces - not sure... I have gotten really good at determining when I am going to be stopped for a screening. Most people who are stopped have a code printed at the bottom of their boarding passes. If I see the code, I know I'm getting stopped. There wasn't a code this time, and no one stopped me.

Security check points annoy me, however, because the TSA officials always expect you to know what to do, but the procedures constantly change and are never posted. Then when you mess up - like put your laptop and your I-pad in the same bucket - they act like you have committed some crime. I found myself apologizing for this, but why the Hell should I apologize? It's not like I did something wrong. I just didn't know protocol. I put my electronics in the same bucket; I must be a heathen.

My flights were fine, but something did bother me. I paid for the tickets over a month ago, but Southwest has open seating, so I wasn't assigned a seat. I did, however, have to pick a seat when I booked the flight. Then, I was third to last, and fifth to last to pick a seat. I booked the flight over a month ago! Shouldn't I have been able to pick a seat before some Joe Schmo who ordered a ticket the night before? I know some people pay more for the privilege of picking first, but I know that I am not the only person (or one of a few passengers) who did not pay that extra price.

While at LAX I saw another celebrity, Shirley Phelps-Roper. She is the spokeswoman for the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. They are the people who protest the funerals of soldiers with signs that say "America is Doomed" and "God Hates Fags." I was going to post the church website, but I don't want to link my blog to that. It would give them too much free publicity. You are welcome to google it yourself, but be warned - it contains some copious amounts of crazy, and it will make you angry. Her and an entourage with a few of her children were searching for a restroom, and found one near my terminal. I wanted to confront her, but the terminal in LAX was not the appropriate place. Their picket signs were not around, but I'm sure they were there to protest something - like the entirety of Hollywood.

I just don't know how some people can walk around with so much fear and hatred inside of them. I don't think gays, Americans, or soldiers are the ones going to Hell; I think Shirley and the ones with the picket signs are the ones already there. When you're life is devoted to hate, how can you ever experience joy? I think joy must be far from Shirley. I would feel sorry for her, but she has brought this upon herself. Or to borrow a page out of the Westboro book, maybe it's one of God's divine judgments? I can't say that though, because God has given us freewill, and she chooses to hold on to hate.

After I got to Detroit, I discovered that one of my tires was flat. It has a small leak, and is something I'm going to have to get fixed. My friend (the same one I discussed sharks and vampires with) had a small electric air pump in her car, and we got the tire inflated again. I picked up some fix-a-flat, so I can patch it once the air leaks about halfway out. It is sustaining pressure, however, so that's a good thing.

After the dinner with two of my friends at Texas Roadhouse, I found a hotel for the night. They promised free Internet, but again it didn't work. What is with hotels not having Internet access? This isn't 1996; this is 2010 - Internet is a necessity. Nothing makes me angrier than when electronic devices are not working properly. It really irritates me - ask Cara. If the Internet connection was poor during the trip, my whole demeanor changed.

Tonight I am in Franklin, TN. It is about as large as you'd imagine. I was going to try to make it all the way to Alabama tonight; I have an appointment with the security people tomorrow afternoon, but I was too tired. I'll still make it in time for the appointment if I leave early in the morning. This trip has been so much fun, but it has been exhausting. I don't think I will truly get any real rest until I'm back in SC for the remainder of the summer.

Hopefully the magnitude of this trip will fully hit me after some aesthetic distance. I know this trip has changed me, but I can't fully appreciate how much just yet. I hope that it will all come to me at once; and with some clarity, I'll discover how and how much I have changed. I do know, however, that it has been a change for the better. I want this trip to continue, for me to continue evolving, so I'm going to attempt to carry the spirit of this trip into the rest of my summer. I may not have Internet access over the next day or so, but I will be back in touch soon.