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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Moving Motivation and Derailed Neuroses

I'm the kind of person who really needs motivation to get something accomplished. If I'm working on a project, I need to have deadlines, and reminders of said deadlines. When my students want something from me (outside my normal realm of everyday activity) - like a recommendation letter or to bring something in for a project they are working on in another class - I ask them to harass me about it. "Send me at least three e-mails a day," I say. "Remind me every time you see me." These reminders motivate me, because ( and I know you would never have guessed this) I am easily annoyed, so I perform the task in order for the reminders to stop.

Right now I'm moving, (I'm heavy into Phase 2, for those keeping score) but I seem to have a hard time getting motivated to clean or to actually empty the apartment. I packed my car today, and it held about as much as I expected it to, so I'm right along with the plan, and I'm doing great on time. I still have 28 days to finish moving, and all of my tchotchkes, paintings, photographs, books, dvds, and bookcases are either in my car or already in SC. Most of my lamps are packed - only three remain, and almost all my dishes (after I empty the dishwasher later - all the dishes).

What's left? Good question: my art trunk, my bedroom set, my clothes, my living room chairs, 3 lamps, Joey's large cage, my TV and radio, and my pots and pans. That will all easily fit into the moving truck during Phase 3. So, why do I feel behind? Why do I feel that I need motivation? Probably because the apartment is looking rather ransacked at the moment - with boxes and whatnot scattered helter skelter and everything out of place.

I like to keep my living spaces rather tidy. The tidiness of my living spaces is often indicative of my stress level. If I am not stressed my apartment looks lived in, but very clean and relatively clutter free. There are magazines on the tables, and maybe a drink glass on a coaster, but everything is where it belongs. If I am stressed, clutter begins to accumulate. If I am so stressed that I can barely hold myself together (i.e. threat level Tara Reid) - house keeping is the first thing to go. It's moments like this when chaos ensues and clutter overwhelms the spaces. It's different for work spaces - which are generally always cluttered (I'm a right brain person) - but living space organization is a good barometer for my stress. Right now, you would think I am barely breathing, the apartment is just - whoa crazy, did you bypass Tara Reid and go straight to Lindsay Lohan? (except for the bedroom which is immaculate! I have to have something. FYI, I'll explain my threat level system in Friday's blog post. Be sure to check it out; it'll be a good one).

Since I'm not stressed, but my apartment looks like I am - there is an odd disconnect. I feel like I should be stressed, and I feel like I must not be doing something because I'm not stressed. This makes me hunt for motivation, but I have a hard time finding it, because I'm on schedule. I'm doing everything according to plan, and there is no need for external motivation. This being on schedule overhwelms my gutteral urge to move faster (I must be going too slow with all this clutter), and thus I come to a stand still.

That may sound crazy, but we all have individual neuroses, and mine are all confused at the moment - derailed, if you will. So now, I am going to give myself some motivation: tonight I will clean up some of the mess I have made from moving. I will get done what I can, but not overwhelm myself. My priorities being the living room and the guest room. Now that I've shared my goal with all of you, hopefully I'll stick to it. I should. I think publicly announcing my goals may be what I need to get my neuroses back on track.

Following up with yesterday's post, I've posted a photo of the new 'do. Be sure to check it out. I won't be posting tomorrow, because I'll be driving all day, but be sure to come back Friday!

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